Summertime in Fran’s Britain, Part 1.

Sunshine is great, init? It makes people happy. It makes the bad seem somehow good again. It makes everyone look healthy, without the orange tinge that you’d get with fake take. I LOVE the sun.

Things I don’t like about this time of year. FHM top 100 sexiest ladies. WHY would you do this to us ‘normal’ women, with skin imperfections, waiting for a leg wax and are still carrying a little bit of Christmas weight?? We are trying to improve ourselves, basking in the sunshine, but this is not enough for you, oooh noooo!!

Yesterday, my boyfriend asked me to guess number one: Cheryl Cole, no less. And then, started from the back, told me numbers one hundred through to two. What I’d give to be number one hundred… – even two hundred would suit me fine! I’m almost waiting expectantly for a “Don’t worry, babe – you’re number one to me.” In fact, I’ll keep saying in my head that it did happen and that I am his number one!

Another thing, I don’t like about this time of year. Working inside. It’s just… gay, I don’t like it – I should be soaking up some rays, and I shouldn’t be limited to two days a week to do so!

Thirdly. People wearing summery clothes that just don’t suit them. I’m probably just as guilty of this as the next person: last year, I saw an 11 year old wearing the same top as me, and I felt like mutton dressed as lamb. But more so, at this time of year, the people who kid themselves about what size clothing they should wear, are offensive! If you’re a size 16, a size 10 isn’t going to fit around your ass, so stop trying those jean shorts on, because they just aren’t going to work for you, and I’m going to see a lot more of you than I want to.

So, in Fran’s Britain, FHM and working inside would be banned. And everyone would need to be consulted and measured before purchasing offensive clothing. I have a feeling this is to be continued as the summertime approaches…


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