I had a terribly crappy day yesterday. My weekend wasn’t a particularly good one.
I worked on Saturday, although I was feeling particularly ill – I came home and fell asleep. On Saturday, we received a letter. Our postman is now claiming for something which actually isn’t our fault. He claims that he tripped and got a 3 inch open wound on his leg, which needed stitches. It’s so horrible that everyone’s out to get everyone else. I’d like to say it’s the last thing our family needs, but I think that’s the same for anyone. If I tripped, right here and right now, it wouldn’t even cross my MIND who’s in charge, what I’m entitled to. Accidents happen. Deal with it.
After this happened, the Sky box decided that we hadn’t paid all of our funds, regardless of us paying our bills monthly – and on time, I hasten to add! Turns out their automated system is RUBBISH, as I typed in my date of birth, and it didn’t actually recognise what I typed. It thought I was 7 years old than I was. Well done, Sky automated system.
And then, our shower started leaking through our kitchen ceiling. Hooray. Hooray for crappy weekends.
I have noticed I am getting a lot angrier at the moment. It’s horrible, I can’t control it. Seem to always be taking it out on the boyfriend, which is just not fair. But I can’t actually stop it? It’s a weird feeling… It’s not as if I reach boiling point and explode – I just shout, and before I realise that I’ve shouted, I’m instantly in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
Sunday, we took the boyfriend to the airport, because he’s being all intelligent and going on a course 🙂 It was Father’s Day on Sunday which, as expected, was very quiet. Mum, Uncle, brother and I went to the pub and had quite a good night.
Yesterday, I suppose it was just a delayed reaction of what I should have been feeling on Sunday, but I was too distracted to feel it. Work is super busy this week with meetings and new joiners, and to be honest, doesn’t need an emotional receptionist, so last night, I took the evening to myself and sorted my thoughts – it’s resulted in me, feeling a lot better and a little more positive about things. With boyfriend out of the house, I have spent most of this week catching up on my washing! Tonight, it’s spare room sheets!
We *still* haven’t sorted out Dad’s plaque. It’s becoming more of an issue for me now. If Dad was still here, he’d be going mad that it took us this long to figure out what to put on it. He’d probably not want anything too fancy anyways. But when I brought it up, I was accused of being patronising. So I’ve now placed a deadline for the end of the week. I’m trying to do it all for everyone’s good, but if people are too stubborn to see that, that’s up to them. When this chapter is finally closed, when we do bury my Dad, we can start accepting it more than we already have. It’s hard to accept it when there’s no place to visit, no place that is his.
We’ve started splitting up Dad’s things, which I think is healthy. I’m getting all his music books, which I’m very happy about. Well, happy’s the wrong word. But if there was ever anything to remind me of Dad, that’d be them. There’s this huge black book, that’s been wire-bounded, and it has such ‘classics’ as “Hungry Like The Wolf” by Duran Duran in it. I remember Dad playing it in the (now) dining room when he first bought that book. And obviously, I’ll always have some kind of association with his Oasis music book, for so many reasons.
Another day survived 🙂