Talking to best friend about this.
Why will you never really truly get over your one true love? I am very happy in my relationship with boyf. But sometimes, can’t help “accidentally” stumbling over the ex’s Facebook profile to check out what he’s been up to, if he’s in the same job.. practically becoming some sort of crazy stalker!
I definitely don’t want him back. In fact, I question why I was with him in the first place! We split up for a reason and we split up YEARS ago, so we are actually probably different people now than who we were then. And it’s not as if he is directly affecting my current relationship or even my life. I have healthy friendships with all of my ex’s (well, apart from one!) and it’s not as if I’m looking at all their Facebook profiles, wondering what they’re doing with their life. They are my friends and they can do whatever they like. But the first real love is always super intriguing to me. I don’t even have any romantic feelings towards him anymore! Honestly!
And it’s not only that, but we have to check out who he’s seeing and compare ourselves to that! WHYYYYY DO WE DO IT?!? I don’t even KNOW this girl, but I stumble onto her profile. And I end up being so judgemental and rate her a) hair; b) looks; c) skin complexion; d) weight/size, and; e) clothes! Why does it matter so much to me?! The girl doesn’t really stand a chance, does she? Let’s be honest, if she were the prettiest girl or the ugliest girl, I still wouldn’t like her.
But I know I’m not the only one who does this. In fact, I know LOADS of people who do this. We are so obsessed with our past, maybe even oneupmanship on the partner we thought we were going to be together with forever. But that was then and this is now. It’s not as if it’s affecting my relationship now and it’s not as if I’ll ever go back to ex boyfriend, because I’m super incredibly happy with my current one.
Is it just because we have the tools, i.e. social networking sites, that we can and therefore will stalk the people we used to be so close with? I can’t define the judgemental side of me. But it’s just so interesting to observe.