Fathers Day

Hey you guyyyys. So today is UK Father’s Day and I am feeling pretty blah about it.

This year marks four whole years since losing my Dad and I think it’s sinking in more so this year. I have been ever so emotional about everything Dad related this year. His birthday, my birthday, today.

The grieving process lasts for about seven years on average and I think, now that I’m at the mid way point, my emotions are just more aware of it. I don’t know if it’s going to be even worse next year with the five year mark or if it’ll get better next year.

I don’t know. I just felt like I had to vent some of my feelings today and my blog has always been my ‘safe place’ to do that because it started up because of my Dad and, although I blog about a wide variety of things (after a ‘blog drought’ – I can’t believe I last posted at the end of April and we’re now halfway through June), it always seems to circle this one part of my life that I’m struggling with the most.

Today, I totally tried to ‘pull a sickie’ instead of teach and that’s not very me at all, particularly as I love my job. I just wanted to spend the whole day, crying, walking the dog and sleeping. I don’t think it’s helping that I’m working 6 days a week at the mo – next week will be my first week with three days off, even though I’m still doing work on my days off! – but I’m also really determined to save for my house this year.

I’m happy I did teach – it’s money for the house-saving fund – but I came home, feeling tired and even more emotional when I left for work this morning. And that’s saying something as I was crying every five minutes before getting in the car and had a deep cry in the car on my way!

I can’t wait until August. I’ll have much more time to myself and weekends off, so I’ll be a bit more relaxed until September.

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